She was kind of a batty old lady who had done the Camino some 18 years ago and now ran her home as a small albergue in Rabé, but she had sage words to share. “The Camino will size you,” she said in her broken English, “and you must answer it.”
Along the Way I kept excepting to have some kind of a revelation, insight, or even just a life decision. Even a new resolution would have been nice. But then I began to realize that I was too close to the Camino still to see the changes that it had wrought in me. Like losing weight, it's hard to notice the changes until you see yourself in a picture or unexpectedly in a mirror. I've lost a bit of weight hiking across Spain, so when I get home my clothes won't fit the same. And that's what I expect the changes of the Camino to be like.
Right now I cannot see the changes clearly because I am just doing what needs doing. Every day for the past 30 days I woke up, put on my pack, and hiked over 20 kilometers. But I don't feel strong. When I get home and hike the hills around the Dwarshak dam, then I will notice the strength in my legs, when I can climb higher and hike farther than I could before.
But I've done more than hike across Spain with a heavy pack. I've lost weight. I left certain things behind, walked away from old pains and losses left abandoned at kilometer markers along the trail. I reached the end of the world and understood there the hope that gives me new life. When I get home certain things just won't fit anymore. And maybe some things will fit better. That's how I will see the changes wrought in my by the Camino.
I hope that the lessons I have learned along the Camino have prepared me for the changes I will discover. I have been sized, and I have answered well.